MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/related; boundary="----=_NextPart_01C91B38.3BC84930" This document is a Single File Web Page, also known as a Web Archive file. If you are seeing this message, your browser or editor doesn't support Web Archive files. Please download a browser that supports Web Archive, such as Windows® Internet Explorer®. ------=_NextPart_01C91B38.3BC84930 Content-Location: file:///C:/C2693E52/Ai-Nothing_but_Color.htm Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Type: text/html; charset="us-ascii" The Kid

Nothin= g but Color
by Ai


I didn’t write Etsuko,

I sliced her open.

She was carmine inside <= /p>

like a sea bass

and empty. <= /span>

No viscera, nothing but color.

I love you like that, boy.

I pull the kimono down around your shoulders

and kiss you.

Then you let it fall open.

Each time, I cut you a little

and when you leave, I t= ake the piece,

broil it, dip it in ginger sauce

and eat it. It burns my= mouth so.

You laugh, holding me belly-down

with your body.

So much hurting to get to this moment,

when I’m beneath y= ou,

wanting<= /span> it to go on and to = end.

 

At midnight, you say see you tonight

and I answer there won’t be any tonight,

but you just smile, swi= ng your sweater

over your head and tie t= he sleeves around your neck.

I hear you whistling long after you disappear <= o:p>

down the subway steps, <= o:p>

as I walk back home, my whole body tingling.

I undress

and put the bronze swor= d on my desk

beside the crumpled sheet = of rice paper.

I smooth it open

and read its single sen= tence:

I meant to do it.

No. It should be common and feminine

like I can’t go on sharing him,

or something to imply = that.

Or the truth:

that I saw in myself

the five signs of the d= ecay of the angel

and you were holding on, watching and free,

that I decided to go out=

with the pungent odor

of this cold and consu= ming passion in my nose: death.

Now, I’ve said it. That vulgar word =

that drags us down to the worms, sightless, predestined.

Goddamn you, boy.

Nothing I said mattered to you;

that bullshit about Etsu= ko or about killing myself.

I tear the note, then burn it.

The alarm clock goes off. 5:45 A.M. =

I take the sword and walk into the garden.

I look up. The sun, the moon,

two round teeth rock to= gether

and the light of one ch= ews up the other.

I stab myself in the belly, <= /em>

wait, then stab myself a= gain. Again.

It’s snowing. I’ll turn to ice,

but I’ll burn any= one who touches me.

I start pulling my guts out, =

those red silk cords,

spiraling skyward,

and I’m climbing = them

past the moon and the su= n,

past darkness

into white. <= /span>

I mean to live.

 

 

 

 

 

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